Square Peg ● Round Hole

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Have you every had a moment where you are feeling wonderful then you receive some information that makes your stomach clench and your mind explodes with fearful projections?   I have them all too many times.   Powerlessness.   My mother suffers from depression.   She has struggled all of my life, but most recently it has impacted her whole being.  She was never great at coping, but was able to “fake it” and act as if all was well.   All of that acting has caught up with her. 

Her depression mimics an alcoholic.    There are times where you can’t reason with her and she is verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive.   I dig deep to find the compassion because I know that isn’t really her.   She is lost deep in the pools of despair.  Looking for a way out.    I can’t help her.   That was a huge realization.   I am powerless to her unhappiness and her bitterness.  

Depression, like alcoholism, runs in my family.    It robs me of the people that I love.   Today, this is my life.    I will learn, grow, and probably feel a lot of pain, but I know in the end that this is the journey that will provide me with many blessings.  This is life on life’s terms.