So, a couple of days ago, I wrote about the emotional cleanse that I was embarking on. With vigor, like any diet, I was full of euphoria. Pleasantly surprised how easy the process was and how great I felt. Fast forward to the second day, where I had my first slip. While annoyed at a no response from a text, I reacted by posting a status on Facebook. I was thriving on the adrenaline similar to how one feels when they sneak that bite of ice cream. People agreeing with me regarding how impolite people that don’t respond are and I felt justified. Then the self-loathing began and I had the awareness of my passive-aggressive behavior. So, I decided to own it. I deleted the status and like any other diet or cleanse, I regrouped, forgave myself, and started over. I am perfectly imperfect. The beauty is paying attention to the red flag that was waving so prominently in my face.
By owning it, I could rectify my behavior. I felt like my status would be powerful enough for those individuals to step forward, asking for forgiveness, and then promptly never repeating that behavior again. You see, my head is a bad neighborhood, and if allowed, it can trick me into seeing situations in a distorted fashion. I am not on this cleanse to change anyone’s behavior, but my own. You see, I am not that powerful to change other’s behaviors. Shocking, right? So, today I forgive myself for the slip and move forward. Hoping that by constant prayer, meditation, journaling, and faith, my cleanse will enlighten me and fulfill me, so that I can continue to have healthy, beautiful relationships that inspire me.
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