So, I am beginning to feel the effects of the cleanse and, frankly, it is uncomfortable. Upon gathering with a group of friends, I became aware of my over sensitivity to everything said. There were moments where I felt less than and not really apart of the conversation. Then the over-thinking and analyzing began where I began to feel like a victim. ((((insert sound effect of squealing tires))))) This is when I need to put on the brakes to my distorted perception of any situation.
First of all, several of the group weren’t in a good place. They were struggling with their own issues going on in their lives. The comments directed at me weren’t really about me. (Hello, ego, you can sit back down, as most things aren’t about me.). Secondly, I am emotionally raw as I peel away the layers of unwanted years of emotional build up. I also need to be mindful that many of my relationships serve different purposes. There is the social group that gets together for dinner and such. We have fun, but these aren’t the people that I turn to in a crisis. Then there is my group that I lovingly referred to as “my people”. These are the ones that accept me regardless of what weird ideas are forming in my head. They bring me back to reality, support me, and tell me when I am full of crap. That is what I need as I travel through this cleanse.
So, my feelings aren’t facts. They are merely a reflection of simply where I am. Right now, is tough, but I have walked through more difficult things in my life. The little voice in my head constantly reminds me to be easy on myself. After all, I am simply a work in progress.
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