Square Peg ● Round Hole

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For the longest time, I gauged my feelings to those around me.  If you were sad, then I was sad.   Happy?  Sure, as long you were.   I could not be comfortable being content as long as those around me were ill at ease.    I suffer from the affects of people pleasing and because of that, it has been very difficult to identify how I feel.

How could I possible be happy, when others I care about are suffering?   I am not sure when it occurred, but there was a moment where I began to realize I am a hoarder.  I hoard everyone else’s emotional “stuff” and carry around like luggage.  Does it help me?  No.  Does it help you? No.  The reality is I can be happy even when others aren’t.  It doesn’t make me a bad person, it makes me a sane one.    The insanity that bubbles in my head can send me into a direction where I am the victim even if it is happening to someone else.

What’s the solution?  Well, for one thing, I can be happy, sad, tired, crazy, or all of the above without anyone else participating.  I am a one woman show that only has enough energy to deal with me.  And I can pray for those who aren’t in a great emotional place without taking a stroll in their misery.

After all, if I want to be apart of the solution, then I need to steer away from the problem.