For the longest time, I gauged my feelings to those around me. If you were sad, then I was sad. Happy? Sure, as long you were. I could not be comfortable being content as long as those around me were ill at ease. I suffer from the affects of people pleasing and because of that, it has been very difficult to identify how I feel.
How could I possible be happy, when others I care about are suffering? I am not sure when it occurred, but there was a moment where I began to realize I am a hoarder. I hoard everyone else’s emotional “stuff” and carry around like luggage. Does it help me? No. Does it help you? No. The reality is I can be happy even when others aren’t. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it makes me a sane one. The insanity that bubbles in my head can send me into a direction where I am the victim even if it is happening to someone else.
What’s the solution? Well, for one thing, I can be happy, sad, tired, crazy, or all of the above without anyone else participating. I am a one woman show that only has enough energy to deal with me. And I can pray for those who aren’t in a great emotional place without taking a stroll in their misery.
After all, if I want to be apart of the solution, then I need to steer away from the problem.
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