I am not one of those individuals who can turn off my emotions and act as if everything is dandy. In fact, my body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are a pathway to my inner emotional turmoil. I envy those whose smile radiates and smooth words roll off of their tongue during in interaction with said problem person. While I berate myself internally, I am reminded that this is MY process. Others may coat their interpersonal relations with sugar, but I can’t. At least, not today.
So what is the solution to my cranky persona? Separation from the issue is one way of dealing with it. During my emotional cleanse, I have abstained from habitual contact with the individuals currently involved in my cleansing process. While I am not willing to give up certain activities based on their presence, I can gauge when,where, and how long I will be able navigate before my “open book” status becomes obvious.
Of course, I have sought outside counsel for this process. This wise woman who has helped me through loss and an anthology of other issues, advises me to embrace my open book persona. Stop berating myself and look at it as a shield of protection from the subtle emotional bullying that I have endured for years. In a nutshell, I have released it and have embraced the fact that this is who I am…..a work in progress. Even if I am an open emotional book, my awareness has heightened and I am willing to let go of relationships that don’t work for me anymore. Today, I am on a path of least resistance.