“Nice job on your test,” I say to my youngest dripping with sarcasm. And there you have the instant “I know everything about your academics and don’t try to lie to me” conversation. Now, it doesn’t stop with academics. We can track our kids with different apps and look at their social media sites for clues. I suppose this takes the place of the ever so popular, child leash. I didn’t use the child leash because I had sent my kids to obedience school. Just kidding. I apparently didn’t do anything to warrant my boys running from me in large crowds.
By me having instant answers, I can nip problems in the bud, offer assistance, or simply, wait for it, listen. It provides an opening to a conversation. At least, that is how it is working for me. Yes, I agree kids need their privacy, but if they are on social media, all bets are off. Privacy is me not going through their stuff, unless warranted.
Bottom line, I am the parent. My job is to raise my boys with integrity that will fuel them with honesty, manners, a hard work ethic with the added bonus of a compassionate heart. I roll my eyes at mothers who simply state they “trust” their kids or the best is when they say that they trust God to take care of them. Really? See, God trusted me to raise them, so there is my responsibility. It really is bullshit (excuse my classy language) when parents flake out and rely on the schools or society in general to raise their kids. It is never a matter of not trusting my kids. They are kids. They are limited, in many ways, to making informed decisions without a little assistance. I am the bearer of the tools they will need to fill their toolbox.
The reality is that my boys know that they can’t get away with anything. That doesn’t mean that they won’t make bad choices, but they are aware there will always be consequences. My boys trust me to have open conversations. I don’t react. Seriously, that is my secret. Now, I might react behind their backs, but to their face, I am the Switzerland of parents. I listen and hold judgement until I gather all the information.
Parenting is exhausting, but it is rewarding, fulfilling, exasperating, and sometimes terrifying. However, I am confident that I am raising good boys who will not require too much therapy.
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