Nine years ago today, I lost the most influential person in my life. My Dad was instrumental in showing me what unconditional love looked like. While my life has evolved in that time, my love and memory for him has never faded. And my grief….it still lingers.
Grief is an interesting concept. If allowed, it can transpose itself from deep sorrow to reluctant acceptance. There is no time table on how long one should grieve, which is good news as I feel I may grieve until my last breath. In my experience, grief has been a tool that allows me to experience heartbreak in the throes of happiness. While that sounds like a contradiction, let me explain.
My eulogy for my father, in a nutshell, expressed how lucky I was to have my boys inherit some of their grandfather’s wonderful attributes. While enjoying their milestones, I can be sad that my Dad isn’t here to share those moments with me, but also be comforted that his spirit lives on in both of them.
He taught me to embrace my humanness by displaying his imperfections. The accountability that he showed me for his actions was a great example of showcasing his flaws. This, in turn, allowed me to show my humanness to my boys. As parents, the greatest gifts we can give our children is showing them we are fallible.
I still grieve. I crave his physical presence, but know that despite our separation, he is always with me in spirit and in heart. He was and still is my greatest mentor.
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