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I have never labeled myself vain.  While I care about how I present myself, I didn’t put much value into the concept.   While my body has transformed over the years due to pregnancy and let’s be honest, gravity, I simply rolled with however I looked.    My perception on my body image didn’t match the reality that I encountered as I was featured on a morning news show this week.

Let me just clarify.  I am short, have some curves, and to be honest, a few pounds more than I would like to be.  I have been diligent in the last month to reevaluate and make an effort on consuming less calories and drinking more water.   The day before my television appearance, I carefully picked out my outfit and narrowed it down to clothes that were comfortable and made me feel good.   Confidently, I spoke in front of the camera about my community outreach project, and was confronted by an image that was unrecognizable.   The reflection of the woman in the camera looked, well, fat.   I realized that while my body has changed it was the outfit that didn’t do me justice.  It was the “ah-ha” moment of identifying the problem…..I don’t know how to dress my body type.

In the wake of my realization, I went through my closet and rid myself of items that aren’t flattering.  My closet is essentially bare as I have failed to create a wardrobe that allows me to bring my best foot forward.   The next step for me is to take the time to shop.    Instead of absently buying styles that aren’t made for a short, curvy woman, I pledge to be willing to buy quality clothes that compliment me.   The struggle is real, people.

I know that I am not alone.   The more I age, the more enlightened I become.  Sometimes, it is subtle and sometimes, it hits me like a freight train like it did this week.   Television is unforgiving, so there is that part of me that berated myself for making the wrong wardrobe choice.   After my shaming party, I became grateful for the new outlook.     Essentially, it is an awakening of sorts.   Grateful that the harshness of reality can lead to a change in perspective.