So this morning I read a blog post about the writer’s thoughts on marriage after the news of Ben Afleck and Jennifer Garner divorcing was announced. She indicated that she felt that marriage was relatively easy and her husband shared the same view. Really? Unless you’re in a vegetative state, this union is hard work. Marriage is like an ongoing NATO peace talk. Constant negotiations, compromises, and hard, tedious work. Please, don’t interpret my words as bashing my current partnership, as I picked the perfect man to team up with, but our journey has been difficult.
Put two people in a house, add kids, bumps in the road, peppered with good times, oh, and life in general you have a recipe for a what I like to refer to as “marriage goulash.” A potpourri of happiness, sadness, anger, resentment, annoyance, laughter, and peace. When people share how fantastic their marriage is and how intimate they always are, well, that is a huge red flag to me. If you have to constantly spew your happy union on social media, then where is the realness? Who are you trying to convince? My husband drives me insane. I have thought of smothering him in the middle of the night, but then our hobby of banter would be over and frankly, I look awful in orange. Our relationship isn’t perfect. The effects of alcoholism coupled with a special needs child lends unexpected obstacles to the journey. Are we in a better place? Absolutely. Would I choose to do this married thing with anyone else? No. Is there improvement to be met? Yes! I have lots of things on my end I need to improve on and I am not afraid to admit it. We are a work in progress….together and apart.
So, whoever says marriage is easy, must have a spouse that doesn’t live with them. I will be the first to say that if you don’t constantly tweak the union, then the foundation becomes soft. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
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