Recently, I was accosted by a long time friend imploring my senses to resume a mutual relationship. It wasn’t a warm and fuzzy exchange rather a blunt and harsh attack. I am not one who is usually surprised by much, but this particular situation warranted me to feel anything but confused and a tad bit annoyed.
What I know about human nature is that being uncomfortable, well it’s uncomfortable. So, to make ourselves feel better we want the situation or people involved to rectify the problem. Sadly, life doesn’t work that way. While I was slightly taken aback by the abruptness of her words, I stand to recognize that she is hurting. Her heart intent, however, didn’t match the delivery.
I have spent much of my life swimming in the delusion that inexcusable behavior was acceptable. My upbringing was to keep friendships out of an obligation because, at one time, they did nice things for me. It is a twisted belief that brought me a lot of learning opportunities. So, how can one make a graceful exit in the midst of all the mayhem? For me, it was simply the “pulling of the plug” and knowing when to walk away. Sure, there is a process of grief that one walks through, but it clears the way for more beneficial relationships to come my way. Relationships are hard enough without all the clutter that people dump on one another. Today, I choose to be selective in my allies. Seeking those that bring out the best in me and vice-versa eliminate the need for any sort of exit plan.
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