It has been apparent for a while that I am not perfect. I know, I know, you are stunned. The news has been hard to take, but in my realm of reality, I am finding that accepting me for exactly who I am is easier than living in an unrealistic realm.
The process has been unfolding for years. As I grappled with being affected by alcoholism, raising a special needs child, and trying to keep my head above water, it was obvious that things needed to change. My evolution arrived in small doses with big reality checks. I could no longer blame other people for my own screw ups and attitude, it was time for me to own it.
So, I own this messy, crazy woman who has evolved into a steady, responsible adult. This adult is accountable. She no longer blames others for the messes that she creates. She swims in her turbulent life with more grace and dignity. She easily laughs at her fumbles and quickly makes amends when she is wrong…..most of the time. However, most of the time translates into eventually because sometimes admitting that I am wrong can be difficult. I am a perfectly imperfect human being.
Interestingly enough, my observations lately have been how much easier life is becoming, simply because I am not fighting the current. Events unfold with limited resistance and my reactions are more tolerable. Funny, no one else is different, it is just me. I am still messy, but my housekeeping skills have improved.