Referring back to my blog yesterday, I am still holding on to what the person in question said to me. So much so, that I wrote an email to this individual this morning. Putting pen to paper, or in this case, clicking keys to a screen, is the forum I am most comfortable in communicating my thoughts. You see, emotions can get the best of me with a conversation, but in writing, I tend to be more diplomatic.
My rationale for sending this email was to alleviate my burden. I was carrying around of weight of disappointment, but this individual had no idea because I didn’t know how to communicate it to them. My perception can be misguided at times, so it is important not to clear the air immediately after for fear of making the situation worse. You see, I am the reactor in most cases.
After I sent the email, I felt a sense of relief. I had thoughtfully laid out my feelings without a sprinkle of accusation. I am not responsible for their actions or reactions following the reading of my email, but I am hopeful that I have cleansed any resentment on my part.
Years ago, I would have taken this person hostage in the emotional sense and used that to punish them for not being able to read my mind. True story, I thought everyone knew how I felt without telling them. Emotionally maturing over the last few years, has given me new insights on how best to handle difficult situations.
I would be lying if I said I am not hopeful for an apology as it would justify my grievance. It would also be untruthful if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that would like to see this person grovel a little bit. Keep in mind, I never said I was cured of my misguided perceptions. I am merely a work in progress and I am not nearly as sick as I used to be. Today my mantra is ………progress not perfection.
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