So, after my graceful face plant on the sidewalk that resulted in some colorful additions to my body, I am forced to simply be. Be still. Be quiet. Be bored. Oh, and be annoyed. Sometimes God has a very bold way of telling you to rest. I think he got my attention.
Interestingly enough, the last few days have been sprinkled with powerful lessons. One of which I feel is important to share. I see myself as an emotional and sensitive human. Crying at commercials that tug at my heart strings, I am not one to hold back. When I grieve, I do it with gusto. So, why does physical pain bring on more of the grief that I thought I had dealt with years ago? Let me rewind. My initial feeling when I face planted on the sidewalk was “shit”and then it was “just let me hang on to my dog’s leashes”. Not once did I register pain…..until 10 minutes later. At that point I could not stop crying. What I realized was the pain wasn’t just physical, I apparently unleashed some unresolved emotional grief as well. My tears were well represented……I wanted my Dad, all of my pets that had passed away, but mostly, it was a cleansing. Grief comes in stages, and let’s be honest, it never really goes away.
Pain, whether it is emotional or physical allows me to move forward. Even though it is uncomfortable, I will say that it certainly is a motivator to not linger in the past. The past is not a place to reside, but rather a point of passing through on my way to the next destination.
I am hoping that the next time God wants to get my attention, that he send me a postcard with a reminder, instead of the jarring body to sidewalk notification. However, it is possible that he tried, and I simply wasn’t paying attention. Well played God, well played.
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