Square Peg ● Round Hole

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So, after my graceful face plant on the sidewalk that resulted in some colorful additions to my body, I am forced to simply be.   Be still.  Be quiet.  Be bored.   Oh, and be annoyed.   Sometimes God has a very bold way of telling you to rest.    I think he got my attention.

Interestingly enough, the last few days have been sprinkled with powerful lessons.  One of which I feel is important to share.   I see myself as an emotional and sensitive human.    Crying at commercials that tug at my heart strings, I am not one to hold back.   When I grieve, I do it with gusto.  So, why does physical pain bring on more of the grief that I thought I had dealt with years ago?   Let me rewind.  My initial feeling when I face planted on the sidewalk was “shit”and then it was “just let me hang on to my dog’s leashes”.   Not once did I register pain…..until 10 minutes later.   At that point I could not stop crying.   What I realized was the pain wasn’t just physical, I apparently unleashed some unresolved emotional grief as well. My tears were well represented……I wanted my Dad, all of my pets that had passed away, but mostly, it was a cleansing.   Grief comes in stages, and let’s be honest, it never really goes away.

Pain, whether it is emotional or physical allows me to move forward.  Even though it is uncomfortable, I will say that it certainly is a motivator to not linger in the past.   The past is not a place to reside, but rather a point of passing through on my way to the next destination.

I am hoping that the next time God wants to get my attention, that he send me a postcard with a reminder, instead of the jarring body to sidewalk notification.    However, it is possible that he tried, and I simply wasn’t paying attention.      Well played God, well played.