Release

Yesterday, was bit of a learning curve for me.   Bailey, my son with Down syndrome, ventured to his first company  Christmas party.  Now, those of you reading might not get the importance of this, so allow me to elaborate.   While Bailey is very competent, this was an opportunity for him to attend a function as a peer, not as an individual with a disability.  His coworkers treat him as a typical person, which I love and hate all at the same time….it’s complicated.

I realized as I dropped Bailey off at the party, that this would be the first outing without anyone else with special needs.    The first time I didn’t leave instructions with someone on where his wallet is located and how much Sprite he can have.     The first time I left him without really “knowing” his coworkers.   Oh sure, I have chatted in passing, but that is a lot different than actually having a relationship.    Yesterday, was all about trust.   I had to dig deep into my faith that God was hanging out with him and all would be well.

Truth be told, I cried a little bit.  Now, worry comes with the mother package when you have kids.  When you add a special needs kid into the mix, the worry is different.   I don’t have the luxury of assuming every person he meets will have his best interest at heart.    Well-meaning people telling me that this is “normal” mothering worry, obviously don’t have a special needs kid.  Sorry to be so blunt, but you don’t get it.  How could you?

So, I made it through the three hours he was gone.   He texted me and told me when to pick him up.  While I sat in the parking lot waiting for his appearance, I was overwhelmed with that feeling of gratitude.   First, that I haven’t isolated him, but instead allowed him to experience life even though it makes me uncomfortable.   Second, that I have people in my life that do “get it”.   They offer a hug, understand my seemingly neurotic fears, and allow me to walk through it.   Third, that Bailey navigates life beautifully and that is all because he was guided.  He has the tools.

I guess you can say that Bailey and I gained our wings yesterday.    We both came out the other side with a little more confidence and a whole lot more wisdom.