The word itself is powerful, so when you fully trust someone, you are putting your most vulnerable self in their possession. You consider them safe and know that whatever you say to them, will remain with them. Or at least, you hope so.
For the longest time, I was not trustworthy. Depending on my mood, what you may have shared with me was more juicy information to pass on, than something to keep to myself. You see, I could use this to my benefit as people love the chick with the dirt. However, what I was doing is forming bonds with people that weren’t real. We were bonding over some else’s misery not anything viable that warrants a solid relationship. After all, when I share that information, the person receiving it might love the benefits, but instinctively knew I wasn’t a safe person. I was the poster child for distrust.
So, today, my foundation with people is built on mutual trust. First, I respect boundaries. Which means I strive to only share my opinion when asked and I share my experience, strength, and hope versus telling you how to fix a situation. (I use the word “fix” loosely, as I don’t know what is best for others.) Second, I am reliable. Reliability is basically telling someone what you are going to do and simply following through. Third, I am accountable. When I make a mistake, I own it. Fourth, I am a vault. Whatever you share with me, I will keep save. It isn’t my story to tell, so in the vault it will go.
With all that being said, my first chance with trust comes from me. If I don’t fully trust myself, how can I trust others and be trustworthy? I think the biggest casualty is when we lose trust in ourselves. When I feel inadequate to make a decision for myself that is a red flag that I have lost my own foundation. How will I be vulnerable to someone else, if I can’t be vulnerable to myself?
Trust is built by small moments. The moment we can ask for help, present our flawed being, or simply make ourselves an example of the type of person we want to attract, then we have reached our goal.
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