We have all fallen prey to the empty apology. You know the one that has the word “sorry” in it, yet you realize that they really don’t mean it. Part of my amends process is not only apologizing, but making one that is living, which means I do my best not to repeat the hurtful behavior.
Yesterday, I experienced an awkward situation that could have been resolved if there had been better communication. Unfortunately, it was the second time this had occurred and I was less than happy. I sent the party an email requesting that I be properly informed of any changes as this not only affects me, but other parties as well. The response I received was, in my opinion, empty. It was a loose attempt in going through the motion but not really owning their part. For me, it is a lesson learned.
So, what does one do with an empty apology? Well, I like to develop a monologue of what I would say to this person. Since, it isn’t kind or necessary, I turn this over to my Higher Power and pray for them. My reality is the history of this person’s actions don’t meet their words, so I have realistic expectations of them. I didn’t respond to their email apology because, honestly, there is nothing really to say.
Here is my what I know – if I can’t trust an apology, then I can’t trust the individual. Following one’s word is the foundation for a well-rounded relationship, and for me, I am grateful that I don’t have to keep experiencing the same thing over and over again to figure out my limits.
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