Square Peg ● Round Hole







“Are you ready?, I ask as I open the door to his room.    I assume he, my youngest child, is ready to leave for school.  My assumption is based on the brushing of one’s teeth and cleaning up his breakfast.  It is 7:23, so I draw the conclusion that we can load up and head out, since that is what we normally do.    When I open the door, he is sitting on his bed reading the sports and acting as if this were a school holiday.   In my brain, I have two speeds……..manic and asleep.  Sometimes, you might get lucky if the list running through my head has been completed allowing me to proceed at a slower pace.   Today, I am manic as I have to drop him off, run to Kroger, come home and get Bailey going, and get to a 9 am meeting.

Normally, I shake it off, if he is running behind.  Normally, I can firmly reiterate the urgency of him getting ready.  However, today was not normal.   I was past annoyed.  In fact, I asked Brian if he could take him, so I could go to Kroger.   Even though it was out of his way, he agreed and I promptly picked up my purse to leave.    Brian, in his helpful and very clueless way, proceeds to say, “By the way, the cats are out of food”.    Gee, I had no idea.  The fact that I feed the cats everyday would certainly give me a bird’s-eye view of them lacking food.  “Thanks Captain Obvious” which stayed in my head and didn’t proceed out of my mouth.  Progress friends..

As I made my way to Kroger, still cloaked in annoyance, several thoughts entered my brain…..why is going to Kroger this important that I spewed irritation throughout my house and am I going to spread my “cheer” to everyone today or am I going to take a breath and renew the day?

Sometimes, the way to peace is by traveling the road of irritation.  I realize that I am part of the problem.  I realize that I eagerly assume the role of victim and martyr.  These are all very real awarenesses that allow me to get to a more realistic place.  That place were I need to humble myself and make amends to my unsuspecting teenager while also asking for what I need.  In this case, for him to be aware of how him running late affects me.  That my time is just as important.  However, in the future, I hope to be able to say these things to him and others without looking like a crazed lunatic.    Progress not perfection.