Square Peg ● Round Hole







“We are going to win and go to state”, Bailey calmly stated this morning.   As we drove to E-Town to face our worthy opponents, I knew two things……Bailey is very confident in his team’s ability, but the facts were that they had only won one regular season game.  We were headed to the Regional basketball tournament that would decide who would represent each division at the state level.

There are varying degrees of feelings when we go to these events.  One is anxiety because I want so badly for his team to succeed in their attempt, but also there are pockets of sadness.  You see, as wonderful as it is to see these athletes play at their own level, to see the volunteers encourage them, it also gives me a twinge of grief.   It happens.   Don’t get me wrong, I would not trade the life I have with Bailey for the world, but the moments pop up when I least expect it.      Then they pass as quickly as they came and I resume my role of a super fan.

Bailey’s fearless exuberance is contagious as his team rallied to win the first game, but came up short by one point during the second game.   His team won’t go to state, but he rebounds from any residual disappointment.  His focus is lunch and where we will eat.  Food is always the focus with this guy.

I look at him…..this spectacular human being and wonder why I become sad at times?  Maybe it is because I wonder what he would have been without that extra chromosome.   I wonder what he would have excelled at and I am curious as to how his life would have unfolded.  With those fleeting thoughts, I focus on this moment.  The moment where he embraces me with his sweaty arms and tells me he loves me.   The moment where I tell him what a great job he did and he grins at me with that infectious smile.    That is when the sadness disappears and I no longer wonder what could have been.