I wouldn’t describe myself as “stressed out”. My reactions aren’t as volatile, but when several things are piled on me at once, my physical reactions are hard not to ignore. Today was one of those days. I could blame it on the fact that Donald Trump has landed in our civilized city thus changing the positive energy into a toxic wasteland, but not everything is his fault……yet.
Last week, it came to my attention that Bailey is pushing the envelope with his job. Taking extra long brakes, hanging out and talking to the staff, along with sneaking food off the line, are just a few of the antics that my lovely special needs son is doing. Fortunately, it is being addressed and some helpful tools are being implemented to assist in his future growth, but cognitively he does not understand the problem. That is where this lunatic mother wants to beat her head against the wall.
Some of you that know Bailey probably find it amusing. After all, he is all about the food, but this is crushing for me. I am fearful he will lose his job. I am fearful he will never understand that his actions have consequences – Down syndrome or not. Twenty years of being creative and I am currently stuck.
I kind of let him have it on the way home today along with nagging Bryce about this week being the last week of the quarter….blah….blah…..blah. All the way home, my sweet boys, heard the chorus of bitching that I am sure was not music to their ears. Frustration is a hard pill to swallow. Mix in the fear and you have a recipe for stress.
These are the times, my friends, where I have a little crying session. As much as I adore this journey with Bailey, it is hard. When situations like this arise, I would love to say I approach it gracefully, but that would be a lie. It seems like there is never truly a break where I can simply exhale.
These are the moments where I have to trust that God has a plan. That this is a learning opportunity for all of us and that Bailey will get what he needs. This lunatic mother will put on her big girl panties and try to resume her role as the empowering maternal influence. Right now, a good cry is the best medicine.