Square Peg ● Round Hole







My biggest problem before surgery is that I tend to romanticize it.  I buy cute pajamas, some new books, put clean sheets on the bed and fill my refrigerator with some of my favorite foods.  I forget that I won’t care what I look like, my appetite will be limited, books will be uninteresting and I will be the human example of large blob.  I looked in the mirror this morning and wondered who the old hag was looking back at me.

For me, it is all about getting my groove back and, truth be told, my bowel movements.   My insides don’t work like they use to and I am exhausted trying to accommodate my pain while the plumbing gets clogged.   I am disconnected from reality with my routine and I watch the time pass anticipating when I can resume my life.    Impatience is the root of most of my evils.     It takes time to heal.  Blah….Blah…..Blah….I am officially getting on my own nerves.  Even the dogs look at me with the expression “are you still here?”.

Here are some things I have noticed…….my husband shouldn’t be sent to Costco alone even with a list I get hundreds of phone calls with question after question, my family would live like hoarders because it takes to much effort to even move stuff let alone clean it up, my husband doesn’t know the dogs schedules and constantly inquires why the dogs have a set time for treats, and lastly, I am possibly the worst patient on the planet.  My family must be a trio of saints.  Okay, that may be pushing it, but they do put up with my cray cray attitude and love me despite it.

Truth be told, I like my life.  I like routine.   I like the normalcy that is presented on a daily basis.   I am not high maintenance by any means, but I have a tendency to rush things along because I am the one who is uncomfortable with a situation.  The reality is I am not in charge.  So, until I recognize that, I will be sitting here looking at an old hag in the mirror and annoying myself.