The human nature package includes unrealistic expectations that breed resentments. It is completely rationale that the experiences in life work out like we imagine them in our active imagination. Well, let’s be honest, that is bullshit. For years, I lived in the rainbow and butterfly world assuming that others are capable of meeting me at my very high, unreachable level of expectations. This led me down the twisted path of disappointments.
Someone recently said, “My expectations are high, so I am usually disappointed” which made me think of how I used to live my life. My happiness was soundly dependent on everyone around me meeting me at the top of the expectation mountain. The climb was steep and treacherous. Numerous fell to the bottom and I was ravaged by unhappiness. It took me a long time to realize that I am much more at ease when I approach people, places and things with a resounding impartiality….expect nothing and be surprised. This is the best approach for me living a truly blissful existence. Let’s be honest, it is not full proof. I do have my slips, but I regain momentum and my footing on a path of least resistance.
My experience is that when I hold people hostage with those nasty unrealistic expectations, it unravels relationships. It forces people to inch away and gradually disappear. No one wants to be held to unreachable standards. It isn’t fair. I grew up with those impossible peaks pinned on me and I know the feeling from both sides. You get to a point with those who expect too much to simply stop trying. Too much pressure and frankly, it is exhausting.
Here is what I have learned…..if you are the one imposing ridiculous standards on others, there is a void within that is desperately trying to be filled. It is the hole that screams “I am not good enough”, but the reality is by looking to others to fill that gap, it will only get bigger and bigger. Learn to accept yourself first and you will be able to do the same for others.
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