I had meant to write about this topic earlier in the week, but the stench of my home along with the fiscally conservative purchase of shoes by my husband distracted me. Let’s talk about cruise safety. If you have been on a cruise, you are aware of the mandatory muster drill. For those who don’t know what that is, it is a gathering of all passengers to learn what to do in the event of an emergency. Let me tell you what it really is.
This drill takes place about three hours after passengers can board. Which means most of these hardy vacationers have been partaking in some adult beverages. We are herded like cattle to our proper zones. First of all, I am geographically challenged anyway, so I have no idea how to get there even if I had to. They provide maps, but again, geographically challenged, so it is no help whatsoever. To be honest, I was talking to the people in my group aka my high school buddies, so it was hard to pay attention. I think we would have all died if there had been a real emergency.
I feel sorry for the crew members trying to provide life-saving instructions. The only thing I know for sure is where my life jacket was, so I had that going for me. Then, in a flash, a really tall guy two rows over faints. It was getting warm as we were jammed against each other, but my theory is he just wanted to get out of the drill. Before you judge me, I only said that after I realized he was okay. I am not a monster for God’s sake.
As I was partially listening, I was trying to look for people in our group that were actually following the instructions. These are the individuals that you definitely want to be near. I love my girlfriends, but let’s be clear…..they weren’t really taking in the information and sisterhood only goes so far.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to trample anyone, shove anyone aside, oh, wait, I did, but that was only in the buffet line. I guess maybe that was a practice run in case of a real emergency.