One of my character shortcomings is that I tend to get wrapped up in myself when I am walking through something difficult. I have tunnel vision. It almost takes me hostage. Everything around me is white noise. Then there is a shift. A shift of knowing that I am going to be okay. I teeter. Back and forth from knowing to unknowing. It is my human process.
What was revealed to me yesterday was that my issues are small potatoes. They seem large to me, but I imagine there is someone out there who wishes they had my problems. The type of problems that evaporate once I walk through them. Yesterday, a man that I grew up with died while on vacation saving his daughter from a rip tide. That is loss. Deep, rooted, heartbreaking loss. Human loss runs deep. So while I had my pity party and felt like the weight of the world was upon me, I was shaken by that firm reality.
Last night while we enjoyed dinner, a kind person bought our meal anonymously. This glimpse of humanity gave me such a spiritual lift. It was an amazing shift of how blind I can be when I am consumed with my own life.
When I entered the rooms of recovery, it took me a while to learn that I just needed a new pair of “glasses” to see what my perception was versus reality. Still need those reminders on daily basis. I have a lot of work to do, but at least I am willing.
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