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If you are a regular follower of my blog, you probably read my witty parody on Mother’s Day last year about why this holiday needs to retire.    It isn’t because my kids aren’t adoring or that I feel neglected.  It is because the holiday sets up unrealistic expectations plus it magnifies the pain that some women feel on this holiday.  I have friends that long to be a mom but were not able to or those that have lost a child.  Let’s not forget those children who don’t have a mother.   This holiday with all of its sparkle can leave a bad taste in the mouths of the forgotten.    I keep seeing this “What I really want for Mother’s Day” popping up on several friend’s FB pages.   Today, for your funny bone pleasure I will be rewording it so it will resonate more with the typical mother.

Every year ( well, maybe not every year) my children ask me the same question. After thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:
What do I want for Mother’s Day? I want you. I want you to make your bed and stop sleeping on the pile of linens strewed on your bed. I want you to acknowledge that the garbage might be full when it falls at my feet.I want you to ask questions and then not hear a word I say.   My real wants lie in the whole year, not just one day.   Be the best person that you can be.  Be kind to others.  Allow yourself to fail and then learn from it.  Don’t blame others for your misery because I have always taught you that happiness is an inside job.  Don’t be an asshole…..not because I fear it will be a reflection of me, but because nobody really wants to be around one, and I don’t want you to be alone.  Be smart with your money because nobody likes a moocher.  This is all I really want on a daily basis not because some greeting card company conned you into believing that one day a year is a celebration of mothers.  Everyday is a celebration of the woman who brought you into the world.   Oh, and my last request is that you continue to help me with any electronics that I may purchase and not get annoyed with me when I don’t understand.    Copy and paste if you agree.

So, there you have it, a realistic take on this commercial holiday.   I love being a mom.  My boys are delightful human beings and I am proud of them, however, I refuse to put unrealistic expectations on them in regards to this holiday or any other for that matter.   Those boys tell me they love me everyday.   They are helpful around the house and for the most part, they hear me.    I call that a success.