I used to get so annoyed when I would relay a memory and my sister or mother would have a totally different take or tell me that never happened. I was under the impression that they were the crazy ones, but now I am convinced that everyone remembers things differently.
I laugh at my spouse a great deal when he tries to recount something. Let’s face it for the first thirteen years of our relationship, he was impaired, so his memory is far less reliable than most people. But, even being cold stone sober doesn’t give me the luxury of the perfect memory. Sometimes I feel like I lived a completely separate life from my family of origin. I kind of like my version better. It seems more entertaining and animated. If you are going to share your take, it might as well be colorful.
Memories are not chapters. There are pieces that stand out and make an impact. The details are elements we thread together that may or may not be factual, but they fit in with the memory. It doesn’t matter how accurate. What does matter is how the memory impacted you. Did it evoke emotion? Then that is the focus. For me, I no longer try to change someone else’s account. We can all have a different view of the same landscape. It only adds to the story.
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