Square Peg ● Round Hole







“So, let’s have a talk,” I say to my youngest.   He looks at me very cautiously because, well, you can never know what I am going to say, and frankly, he is seventeen and would rather play video games than chat with his mother.   Nevertheless, I feel the urge to purge some information his way.  (Did you all notice my rhyme?  I am wondering if I should dapple in poetry.)  Anyway, he sits down and turns his attention to me.  I say, “Here is what you need to know if we should die.”

His face was similar to a deer in headlights and as he scrunched his face, he utters, “What?”.   Well, since we are leaving to go abroad and he is almost eighteen, I figured he needs to know the drill.   I mean, in my head, anytime I board a plane, I am convinced this is the end.     So, I show him our wills, let him in on the 411 and he looks at me very seriously and asks how much he will inherit.    I reply, “You will inherit debt.” and then I laugh and laugh.   He doesn’t find my humor amusing which is a shame since I find myself hilarious.

The truth is that it is important that he knows what will happen if we both perish at the same time.   Since Bailey has special needs, it is a little more complicated.  Bryce would be his legal guardian when he turns eighteen which is less than three weeks away.   But, what I have is a village of people that are always available for my kids…..whether we are alive or dead.    Grown-ups who have been an important part of their lives.  That is vital, in my opinion.

After our conversation, Bryce seemed to want to get away from me quicker than normal. I guess that it is good that I didn’t talk about what kinds of arrangements we wanted.   I am thinking a “Weekend at Bernie’s” theme where Brian and I would be propped up in chairs wearing beach attire.   It would be festive and margaritas would be served.   Afterwards, people would talk for years about how epic our funeral was.   I mean, the word “fun” is in funeral, so I just want to honor that.