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In grade school, I was usually the last one picked for teams.   Today, apparently, that has changed because I usually am one of the lucky ones picked first for the “extra security” screening team.  This is not a team I wish to be picked for.

In the US, extra security is a little pat down peppered with a grunt which I would interpret as “thank you so much for being cooperative in our efforts to keep our country safe”.   In Europe, it is more like a contact sport where their hands go in regions that should have a border control.    My knee sets off the scanner every single time.  I show my scar to the “team captain” who smiles and still sends over some lady who snaps on her latex gloves and proceeds to fondle me.   I felt like we should at least be Facebook friends after the incident.  Then I got an extra security check prior to boarding our flight leaving Amsterdam.  Again, lots of snapping on latex gloves, poking and prodding, and not even a “thank you for helping us keep our country safe”.   The only bonus was that they let me board even before first class.   I would like a free flight next time.

While I get that all of these precautions are necessary, some of it is disconcerting.  I am always nervous which is funny because I have nothing to hide.  But, it is like when I was pregnant and they did an AIDS test, which at the time was standard practice at least for my doctor.  I knew I didn’t have AIDS, but was thinking what if I do which was crazy.  So, in this particular case, I am anxious thinking I have bomb residue on my clothes.   I know, it makes no sense, but it does mess with your mind a bit.

When we got home, we had a nice note from them letting us know they checked our bag.  How considerate of them.   See, manners still exist in a world.   Meanwhile, I am hoping on my next trip that I am not picked for the “security team”.   They are way too aggressive.