Square Peg ● Round Hole

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I think it is human nature to seek validation.  Not the needy, codependent type where you need the approval of others, but simply verification that you are doing great.   For me, at this moment in my life, the only affirmation I am seeking is from my temperamental scale.  Before you utter one word, about how “it is only a number”, let me remind you that I am a middle-aged woman who has shoved two humans out of my body and I deserve a good number from that bitchy scale.

For the last six months, I have tweaked my calorie intake, exercised four to five days a week, and the scale has budged two pounds.   Now, of course, I notice differences.  I feel great exercising.   I am not sacrificing the food I like, but I am limiting the consumption. My clothes fit differently.    And while all of this is positive and magical, I am still looking at the scale for a little “good job, girl!”.

Sure, kid yourself.    We all do it.   We all get on the scale looking for a smaller number while telling everyone who will listen that it’s just a number.   Does it define me?  No, but there is something about seeing the numbers dwindle that ignites and inspires motivation.    I am still going to work hard.   I am still going to step on the scale.  What I won’t do is quit even though the number is barely budging because I can see the big picture.  The scale is just a snippet of the equation.

Maybe in the future, a scale will be invented that delivers positive affirmations narrated by Ryan Gosling saying, “Wow!  Good try, girl.   Don’t give up.  You didn’t get a fat ass overnight,” or “Girl,  the number might be the same, but the good news is that you are still a lot less than the maximum weight limit for an elevator,”  or  this….”Girl, you are amazing.  You still can fit into one airplane seat,”.  So, until then I will step on that scale, flip it off when it doesn’t agree with my sentiment, and continue the good fight.