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Yesterday morning, I reset my modem over and over again expecting a different result.  Gee, that repetition sounds familiar, so when that didn’t work over the span of two hours -yes, I am slow to admit that I need help – I call our delightful internet carrier.  I detest them.   As I listen to the monotone recording, I am thrilled to learn that there is an outage in our area which means, I don’t have to talk to anyone.  But, then I must break the news to Bailey.  His beloved Netflix and YouTube will not be able to be streamed, so I engineer a diplomatic way to share this information.   He stares at me like I have five heads and I am thinking I hope they fix this soon.  Bailey is a creature of habit.

As soon as I utter the words to him, miraculously it is working, which  makes it appear as if I am either manufacturing the story or I am simply nutty.   He would probably go with both.    I received a phone call from the delightful woman with the robotic voice telling me that the problem in our area has been fixed.   But, an hour later, we were without internet again.   Sigh.   Bailey looks at me like I should have a magic wand to fix it and I again, call my internet provider.    The monotone woman answers and tells me that my issue has been fixed, but offers me customer service which had me on hold for over five minutes as their call flow was heavy.  Gee, I can’t imagine why.    Finally, I am greeted with my new best friend who informs me that my problem has been fixed.    I informed my buddy that the issue has indeed not been fixed and so the insanity continues.  “Well, then let’s reset your modem and see if that helps,” he responds cheerfully.   Yes, let’s  do that, as I have been doing that all flipping day.   I do it…..very reluctantly.  I might have eye-rolled…..a lot.    “What’s it’s doing now?  Does your modem have lights on?”    I respond with a touch of sarcasm, “Well, the lights are on but there is no one home aka my internet is still not working.”    He laughs, but I am really not being funny.    “Well, an outage can only be declared if three people call from the same area within an hour of the first person reporting it.”      I ponder that for a moment.   “In the meantime, we can schedule a technician for Friday between 12 and 1.”   I am still pondering.  I don’t want to unleash on this unsuspecting person because he is simply doing his job.  And frankly, his job sucks.     “Fine.”   “Great!   Let me get that scheduled.   Is there anything else I can do for you today?”   “Yes, there is.  You can get my internet fixed.”    He laughs.  Again, not being funny.

About an hour later, the problem was resolved.  I was tentative with my celebration as my confidence level in this company is low.   Thank goodness I implored people via Facebook and my neighbor to call.   Still wondering what would have happened if the third person needed to declare an outage would have called a minute after the hour deadline.  I guess we will never know.