Square Peg ● Round Hole







I shared yesterday that I was going off on an adventure where I would be visiting the land of nonsense aka the social security office. Arriving early, I gathered my things that included the ambiguous letter, a list of questions, and a flask. Kidding on the flask, but it might have made the trip more entertaining. Anyway, I arrived at 8:52 and proceeded to wait in my car. I looked around and realized that others were waiting as well, so then I was forced to analyze how many I could outrun and outmaneuver in order to get to the door first. I had eight minutes to formulate a plan. What I didn’t realize was that they allowed people to line up inside prior to 9 am. While I outmaneuvered the people waiting in the parking lot, the thirty people inside were already winning. Well played, Social Security office, well played.

Upon entering, the glorified mall cop hired to bark orders to the minions lined up, shared that they are hiring. I will take a hard pass at that opportunity. She kept telling anyone that would listen that she had a military background. I am only assuming that this was a strategic tactic to throw off anyone that was coming in to “off” the entire office. I felt really safe. I checked in on the computer that asked me why I was there. There were five choices and none of them where, “I am thoroughly confused at the letter your office sent”, so I picked “other”. When my number was called, I was very excited until I was told that this was merely a second check-in point. I guess my “other” needed to be clarified. I returned to my seat, hoping that my wait would not be too much longer. The glorified mall cop indicated that at the same time the day before, they were on a three hour wait. A few minutes strolled by and my name was called to go to window 3. I was so excited that I went to window 4, but regained my composure and settled into my seat at window 3.

“Good morning! What can I help you with today?” The friendly worker must be new as there is no way anyone could be this happy employed by this agency or perhaps he brought his own flask.

“I am confused about this letter.”

“What seems to be confusing about it?”

“Well, you read it and tell me.”

He reads the letter. I point out where in one paragraph it tells me that Bailey should have received more money than he did and the back says that he might need to repay it. He smiles and tells me that basically they are admitting there was a mistake and he is owed the money that they originally withheld. He will start receiving that amount until the amount is repaid.

“The letter is ambiguous.”

“Actually, the letters have gotten much better.” I laugh as I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I asked a few more questions and felt satisfied with the answers. Before I left, I told him I was a writer and would be happy to compose their letters. Maybe they wouldn’t have a three hour wait if their letters made sense. He told me that I would receive a letter about this visit. I said, “Really??? Will it be sent twice and be ambiguous, so I will need to come back?” He laughed, but this time I wasn’t really trying to be funny. As I pushed the door open to leave, I felt like I should say, in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, “I’ll be back” because, well, I don’t have be psychic to see that in my future.