Square Peg ● Round Hole







My day started out bizarre and continued that trend with gusto.   Bailey’s place of employment was closed to due a threat and then later, our neighborhood was on lockdown due to a bank robbery suspect on the loose. I was so grateful that I had plans with a friend for dinner because I needed a little reprieve from the heaviness the day had brought.  Little did I know that the end of my day would be even more eventful.

The evening started out with laughter and a ton of catching up.  While we “see” each other on social media, the face to face interaction is a must.   With my new sustainable eating regime, I had planned in advance what I was going to order which happened to be the prime rib minus the baked potato and double the asparagus.     When our food arrived we were still deep in conversation.   I dug into my juicy steak and commented to the waiter that I might leave my spouse for it.  It was delicious.  As I continued to eat, I realized that a piece of the meat was stuck.   In my mind, I am willing it to go done.  

At the same time that I am negotiating with the meat that was currently residing in my throat, the busboy shows up to pour us some more water. Kristi sees my distress and asks me if I am okay.  I shake my head and point to my throat.  It was like a dance.  The moment I stood up, Kristi positioned herself behind me and preformed the Heimlich.  I had my napkin which I raised to my mouth to catch the evil piece of meat.  In seconds, I am breathing normally and facing the busboy whose eyes are as big as saucers.  I think he might have suffered PTSD as a result.  To his credit, he told us he was thinking of ways to help. Fortunately, I didn’t have to rely on him because I think I would have died.   His reaction time was a bit delayed.  

As we regained our composure, I started to laugh uncontrollable.  Kristi joined me and we probably did appear a bit crazy, but we realized that no one else in the restaurant reacted.  Not one person.  Even the two ladies sitting near us were oblivious to my near death experience.   When the waiter came back, I informed him of our “performance” saying that he missed dinner and a show.   The rest of the evening, I noticed that he was close at hand.

Here is what I learned last night.  First, my friend has some mad skills that she was unaware of and I am happy I could help her uncover those.  She was a ninja under pressure.   Second, I think I am at the age where I need to rethink my food choices in terms of softer and possibly more manageable items.  Third, I apparently am the type of person who laughs uncontrollably when I am in shock and at highly inappropriate times.  Lastly, dessert makes everything better.  Every. Single. Time.

When I shared the experience with my family, Brian didn’t seem phased, Bailey asked, “besides almost dying, did you have a good time?” and then Bryce was a little more concerned with an “OMG! Are you okay?”.  Maybe the gravity of the situation hasn’t hit me.   But, during the moment it was happening, I wasn’t panicked.  I had a sense of peace knowing that I would be alright.  Let’s face it, God isn’t ready for the likes of me yet and frankly, I am not done spreading my delightful personality with the world.  What I do know, is that I have made some excellent choices in friends and grateful for the one who was with me last night.