Square Peg ● Round Hole







The minutes crept by as I continued to check the time. I felt like I was waiting for a bomb to explode. I was edgy. My eye was twitching. The common denominator in this particular situation was my mother. In today’s episode of “How To Make My Daughter Internally Scream”, I was waiting for my mother to call. Not in a “how is your day going”, but more in a “here is another way to make your life more difficult” dialogue.

Since she fired her caregiver, yesterday was when someone new would be gracing her doorstep. Past experience dictates that I either get a phone call before the individual arrives telling me to cancel or the agency calls because my mother isn’t answering the door. These two scenarios don’t work for me. But, I was ready. Ready for the phone to ring. I was armed with my powerful semantics. Ready to dazzle her with my reasoning or basically telling her that she wasn’t getting her way. But nothing happened, which made me uncomfortable. I was left unbalanced by an 87 year old woman. She was changing the game and I didn’t like it a bit.

Around 11 am, the phone rang and it was her. It was on. I answered the phone only to be greeted with, “I really like the caregiver they sent, but I don’t really think I need her today”. The woman had been there a whole hour. My response, “Glad you like her and she is staying. Hope you all have a great day”. She muttered something under her breath and hung up. I felt victorious. Then 15 minutes later, the phone rings again with her requesting that this woman be her permanent replacement. That isn’t really how it works, but I told her I would do my best and then she said, “I think I only need someone four days a week”. Nope. Not happening since we currently are on a six day a week routine. Sigh. “I think six days a week is ideal, so I will let you know what we can arrange”. Again, she mutters something and hangs up. She might be telling me to go to hell, but I don’t care because I am beating her at her own game. This is what my life has become….edging out an elderly woman. I am putting that on my resume of skill sets.

The rest of the day was radio silent. I felt like I could breathe a little easier and laughed at how I imagined things were going to play out. When she did reach out later in the day, it was a quick conversation – she is still annoyed with me – to share that they had a great time together and were planning to go the movies at some point. I am not going to lie and tell you that I am relaxed because that is what she wants me to feel. And then just when I think it’s safe, she will throw me another curve ball. Happens. Every. Single. Time.

I have to bring my A game when I deal with her. I can’t let my guard down. Sure, I sound paranoid, but the voices in my head agree with me and they have almost never steered me in the wrong direction. Except that one time, but that is for another blog.