Square Peg ● Round Hole







Part of kicking fat to the curb involves low carb days, which I practice on Monday and Tuesday. So when I reintroduce my friends back into the fold, I am a little giddy. My favorite good carb are sweet potatoes. Every. Single. Day. No lie, I might have a problem. And if you mess with my addiction, I will cut you. Kidding. Maybe.

Apparently, this particular favorite can be traced back to when I was a baby. I detested vegetables, so I lived on Gerber sweet potatoes and the bananas. Both were the bomb. Anyway, my figure gave way to some delightful rolls of skin and the pediatrician advised limiting the sweet potatoes. Asshole. Anyway, I am making up for lost time.

My favorite way to prepare them is in the slow cooker. Wrapped in foil and punctured with a fork, I put it in around 8 am on high so it to be ready by 11:30. Seriously, I count down the hours until the delightful sweetness touches my tongue. It is a party in my mouth. I am talking confetti, noise makers, and a Mariachi band.

As I am getting my lunch ready, I am smiling at the slow cooker. Don’t judge. I am a little attached. Anyway, I lift the top to retrieve my BFSP (best friend sweet potato), and am greeted by cold. Since 8 am, I thought it was cooking in order to provide me with its sweet goodness. But no, some asshole (moi) neglected to turn the appliance on. Ugh. Convinced that I would not last the day without its heavenly goodness, I sought directions for microwaving it.

Have you seen those women who look like they have literally lived out in the sun? You know, they are all wrinkly and their skin looks like leather. Well, that is what my potato looked like after it was in the microwave. The inside lost all of its flavor too. I almost cried, but I was so annoyed that I simply bitched to myself about myself. There should be a law stating that you should NEVER microwave a sweet potato. It was like mourning a good friend. I will have to live with my actions the rest of my life. Oh, the sadness!

It isn’t the first time I have neglected to power up the slower cooker. And, it probably won’t be the last. I guess I am consistent in the theme of being my own pain in the ass this week. At least I have that going for me.