Square Peg ● Round Hole







Last night, I was settled in bed, reading, while basking in completing yet another day without holding anyone hostage. It is always a win when I don’t owe anyone an amends for being a bitchy, asshole. Anyway, I started to hear thunder. Confused, as there was only a 10 percent chance of us having any rain, I checked one of our local station’s social media to see what was happening. Apparently, they didn’t know either.

I am directionally challenged. This diagnosis came when my father tried to teach me to read a map. I often wondered why he would drink after those teaching moments. Trying to help me with map reading and math, were two things that could send my patient father to the brink of insanity. The words north, south, east and west made me shiver. Give me a landmark any day, and I am good.

So, last night, the quirky weather people were saying, “rain to the north and east of us” which didn’t help in my confusion over the thunder and gusty winds we were experiencing. I needed someone to simply say, “there will be rain near the mall”. With all of the technology we have at our fingertips, you would think this would be available. Oh, and right after I checked, a severe thunderstorm warning was issued. Um, with all the fancy equipment they have, were they surprised too?

I am not criticizing our weather personnel. I am simply offering suggestions. Perhaps change the semantics a bit. Dumb it down if need be. I get that storms “pop up”, but honestly, I think they dropped the ball last night. Maybe they too, are confused by the terms north, south, east and west. It’s okay. I alerted my friends on social media that there was a severe thunderstorm near the mall. You’re welcome.