Neutral

As I drove other to my Mother’s home yesterday, I prepared myself mentally for meeting her new caregiver. I feel like I am on some weird television show and the supporting role continues to be recast. You know the announcement, “the role of so and so is now being played by so and so”, well, I am hearing that in my head as I drive. I am sending lots of prayers up. I don’t usually bargain with the big man upstairs, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. I realize that’s not how it works, but hell, at this point, I have nothing to lose except another caregiver. Cue laughter because I think I am hilarious.

When I enter, my Mom looks anxious and, in turn, encourage her to turn her frown upside down. She sticks her tongue out at me. Adorable. The caregiver arrives and seems nice, willing to absorb all the information I am throwing at her, and then she asks me if I live with her. My response was a quick, “God, no!” which just shot out of my mouth. I could have simply uttered, “No” and proceeded to tell her a little bit about my family, but I simply have lost any filter that may have been in existence at one time. And once again, my Mother embraces the toddler within, and sticks her tongue out at me. Lovely.

After an hour and a half, I figure that it is time to leave. Allowing them to get to know each other without my presence. I didn’t hear anything from them the rest of the day, so I lean on the side of “no news is good news”. I am cautiously optimistic. Heavy on the cautious and light on the optimism. Time will tell.