After being together a long time, Brian and I like to spice it up. Dating takes on a whole new level at this stage in the game. I really feel that we have mastered that aspect of our relationship.
Yesterday, our “date” centered around Costco. Ladies, hold back that little green-eyed monster. I’m sorry your man lacks the imagination to create the perfect outing. I mean, Brian even offered to buy me one of those cheap footlong hot dogs. Seriously. I hit the lottery. Anyway, I normally don’t tag along for the bulk shopping expedition for many reasons. Most obvious are people. Those that are roaming around aimlessly who usually end up standing in my way, staring at the item that I need to retrieve. This results in interacting because then I have to say, “excuse me”. Huge drawback in going on this outing, but, I needed some new items to amp up my diet and oh, to spend time with my spouse. Since I started the FASTer Way to Fat Loss program- shameless plug -(www.fasterwaycoach.com/#allisonjones), I have pretty much eaten the same thing for almost ten months. It’s worked so far. But when I get bored, I become unpredictable, which usually ends with me making bad choices.
While on our date, we perused the aisles, hunting down items that have been moved since Brian was there last, and snickering at the people who only come to get a gallon of milk or in one case, a bag of ice. Who does that? Who comes to Costco and gets a bag of ice and nothing else? Look, when I am out in public, judging others is the only way I survive. It is my source of entertainment . When it came time to check out, we spent more than normal, because I was in attendance. But, I did find some yummy things to eat that will guarantee I won’t be bored and “fatty” Allison won’t be returning.
Once everything was unloaded, I retrieved the package of razors that I bought for myself. I followed the instructions that simply said, “cut along the dotted line”. Seems easy enough. Probably is for someone else. I cut along the line thinking that it will simply open as instructed. Nope. Not for me. By the time, I was able to retrieve the razors, it looked like a murder scene minus the blood. I had two sets of scissors along with a knife. The container was butchered. Deep puncture wounds blanket the cardboard. It wasn’t pretty. But, I did finally free them from their hostage situation. I hope they were grateful. Bulk shopping isn’t for the faint of heart. It requires patience and a lot of work. Or perhaps opening containers is simply not in my realm of talents.
Anyway, I won’t be going back for a while. I have had two days of interacting with humans, so I will just be over here. Alone. Trying to recover from the effects of murdering a cardboard container and relishing that we really have this dating as a married couple mastered.
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