Square Peg ● Round Hole







Yesterday, two of my girlfriends along with myself, left to start our adult timeout. Our other friends are set to arrive today. At promptly 10:45, I am greeted by a loud blaring horn indicating that my ride had arrived. She’s classy like that which is why we are friends.

Road trips enable me to experience life outside of my bubble. Stopping at gas stations are particularly life-changing especially the one we happened to stumble upon, somewhere in the boonies. Per usual, I needed to pee. The reality is my bladder doesn’t give a crap if I am not privy to a potty. So, anyway, we walk in and honestly, it looked a little sketchy. My bladder isn’t picky, so it prompted me to move forward to the bathroom. Interestingly enough, the bathroom was odd. Odd by the fact that there was actually a single toilet with no stall around it sitting next to an actual stall. Weird, right? Of course, I wasn’t going to to sit in the lone toilet that was across from the sink because that is beyond creepy. So I waited for my friend to finish.

While my friend washed her hands, I went to make my bladder happy. The door to the bathroom indicated that another person had entered and she proceeded to use the lone toilet. Keep in mind, my friend is washing her hands. Let that sink in because, wow, just wow. My friend promptly exits while leaving me to ponder my escape without actually making eye contact. Wondering how long I will be held hostage in this horrible stall. Meanwhile, her phone rings. I am praying she doesn’t answer. Instead, she complains loudly about getting a phone call while peeing. What is happening? I took a deep breath and raced to the sink quickly as this chick pulled up her pants. No eye contact. I barely washed my hands in an effort to get the hell out of there.

I find my friend, you know, the one who abandoned me, in one of the aisles of the store and we promptly start laughing. I am talking tears streaming down my face laughing. While we reminisced about our bathroom experience, we were alerted to the wide selection of tobacco products. I mean, seriously, large bags of pipe tobacco. In bulk. Apparently, there is a real demand.

I know I sound like a snob, but when I use a public restroom, I don’t want to actually experience the public. Is it too much to ask for another stall? Do they need to have a fundraiser? The last time I was on a girl’s trip, we stopped at a rest stop where there was an actually sign asking for us to rate the experience. My bladder would have probably given it a decent yelp rating.

These experiences only enhance my adult timeout. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the weekend reveals.