Square Peg ● Round Hole







One of the smartest decisions my mother has made was to purchase long-term health insurance. This pays for her to have a caregiver and also allows her to stay in her own home. The only issue with that is sometimes the agency fails to do their job and doesn’t file the claims. This results in me getting extremely annoyed as it forces me to engage with individuals via phone. Ugh.

On Monday, I called the insurance company making sure that the claims had been filed as they are behind by two weeks for reimbursing her. My fingers and toes were crossed because if they have been filed, then it is simply a waiting game. Her insurance company has amazing customer service, so my bitch meter was not even registering. That is until I am told that no claims have been filed since the end of October. Bitch meter is now on alert. Next step is calling the agency.

I take a breath and asked for someone who deals with the long-term health claims. Would I love to have a direct contact? Of course, but this agency seems to have a revolving door in this area. Color me annoyed. Anyway, this lady answers my call. I explain the situation. She tells me her account is up to date. I explain again, that yes, the account is paid because the agency takes the money out of my mother’s checking account. I reiterate that my request is for her to send the claims to the insurance company. She informs me that she will have to check on this and call me back. WTAF? I sigh. I explain that I would like a call back by the end of the day. She agrees and we hang up. I know I am not getting that call back.

So, what do I do? Well, I contact the only consistent person at the agency, requesting the name and email of the controller. Yesterday, I constructed a well thought out correspondence to this woman. It was very clear. I even toned down my bitchiness. Giving ample time for a response, because I am kind that way, I didn’t call the agency again until after 1. When I asked for the controller by name, the girl answering the phone ended up being the person that actually was handling my mother’s claims. Excellent.

Chick: My boss forwarded me your email and I responded but forgot to press “send”. Oopsie. (she giggles too)

Me: (WTAF? That is the marquee running through my head). Um, so what is the status of the claims?

Chick (who I now have named dumbass): Well, I scanned and emailed both claims this morning. We can’t fax them anymore since sometimes they get lost. I have been super busy and totally forgot to send them a few weeks ago.

Me: (I decide not to divulge the fact that I got them that email address due to the issues with faxing. That would be extra bitchy.) So, you forgot to send them the claims?

Chick who is now named dumbass: Yep. (She pops the P for extra emphasis). I have been super busy. But, it is done now and I am so sorry for the delay.

Me: (please read this with extra sarcasm) No problem. I will call the insurance company tomorrow to make sure they have been received it. Since I have your name now, I will call you when I receive an invoice from your agency, to remind you to send the claims to her insurance company. You know, since you are super busy.

Chick who is now named dumbass: Oh, um, well, that isn’t necessary.

Me: It really is. So I will chat with you in a couple of weeks. Have a great day and a wonderful holiday. (Voice is still laced with sarcasm, but I do hope that she has a great holiday. Maybe she gets to sit next to Aunt Bertha who will drone on about her latest bunion surgery.)

Chick who is now named dumbass: Uh, well. I will definitely remember to send them the next time.

Me: Of course, you will. Talk to you in a couple of weeks. Thanks so much. You have been super helpful.

Christ. On. A. Ritz. Cracker. So, this morning, I will call and check on those forgotten claims. Hoping that they have arrived safely. The dread of having to chat with dumbass formerly known as chick, might break my bitch meter. Seriously.