Square Peg ● Round Hole







As we close out another year, I think it is only fitting that I share a story about my spouse. Since Bailey is off work for the holidays, they have been binge watching a variety of movies and various series. This has been taking place in our living room. I am totally cool with that, but as hours go by, the noise cuts through my enjoyment of silence. You know, I am either writing, revising my book, or reading. The quiet is my favorite companion. Anyway, Brian decided, because he is considerate and I may have strongly suggested a change in location, to move their binge watching to our lower level. Friends, our basement is nice. It has a comfortable sofa and a recliner that has been begging for their attention.

The first night that they were changing their venue, Brian had gotten home early from work. I had experienced a delightful day where I had been on the phone with four different agencies trying to work out Bailey’s Medicaid and Medicare issues. That story is for another blog, but let me just sum it up by saying I was not a ray of sunshine. So, I am in the bedroom enjoying the solitude, when I hear what sounds like a blender, but it went on way too long. I sigh, and reluctantly remove myself from my cozy bed. In the kitchen, I find my spouse blowing up an air mattress.

Can you imagine what kind of sentence enhancers were flying out of my mouth?

Me: “Why are you blowing that up? I thought it had a hole in it?

Brian: “I am blowing it up so we can watch our shows while lying on it. I am not sure where or if there is a hole.”

I leave him to do whatever he needs to do. There may have been an exaggerated eye-roll to pair with my exit. As each day morphed into night, the sound of a air mattress being blown up seized the silence. No, he wasn’t deflating it every night. There seems to be mysterious hole that is taunting Brian. He bought some Gorilla tape. He has done some weird things with a spray bottle, and who knows what else. All I know is my husband is a tad loco.

Sure, I could order a new mattress, but I am actually contemplating poking small pin holes in a effort to speed up his mental breakdown that would allow him to move on from his obsession. He tells me not to do that because he still hasn’t found the source of the leak. What a buzz-kill.

While fireworks and other revelry will be heard tonight, my home will filled with the sound of an air mattress being reinflated. I will simply shake my head, laugh a little, and maybe roll my eyes. If I have learned anything in 2019, it is the concept of “you do you, boo”. Who am I kidding? I just ordered a new mattress and it will be here Friday.