Square Peg ● Round Hole







During this difficult, the government wants us to participate in the Census. Kind of coincidental that our esteemed officials send this out when we are looking for things to do. I would have preferred my stimulus check or adult coloring books. Both would be delightful and welcome distractions.

So, I filled out the damn thing because otherwise I will get harassed by someone that will probably come to my door after all this social distancing and quarantine time dissipates. And you all know how much I adore strangers coming to my home.

One question inquired whether I would be in my home on April 1. Well, let me ponder that. Pretty sure I will be since there is this bitchy virus threatening our lives and the world as we know it is closed. So, yes, I can say with one hundred percent certainty, I will be here. Possibly annoying my family and taking naps.

Then they inquired about the ethnicity of each household member. Like being white wasn’t enough. Look, I am basically a human mutt and I haven’t done that ancestry program to find out what variety is flowing through me. I was looking for the choice of “I can’t be put in a box as I am a bunch of ethnicities wrapped in a pretty package.” But that wasn’t one of the selections, so I put German. Seriously, I didn’t want to put that much brain power into this. Simple questions will do. And please, the confusion on whether to count Bryce or not was ridiculous. I probably did it wrong, but surely I am not the only one. It’s done and now I have a craving for German food.

Speaking of government ridiculousness, I have been dealing with the social security office. Some documentation came regarding Bailey, and I appealed their changes due to what I read in their booklet that came with the letter. Yesterday, I received a phone call regarding that appeal where I was told to ignore the booklet I was sent. He said, “It’s generic. It doesn’t cover the parent/child relationship, so it doesn’t apply to you.” Oh, okay. That is clear as mud. Christ. On. A. Cracker. He apologized for the confusion. I offered to rewrite the manual. He laughed. I wasn’t kidding. I pointed out that they probably would slice their appeals in half if they changed that documentation. He agreed. And he had dogs. I know this because they barked incessantly while we were chatting.

Anyway, that was my exciting day in the land of Quarantine 2020. I feel accomplished and a tad confused, but I think that is to be expected when dealing with our government. I will probably take today off and hang out at home. You know, since the world is closed.