Square Peg ● Round Hole







Okay, I know a lot of you are about to lose your shit. This social distancing coupled with the closures of frequent gathering spots can be disconcerting. The future is unknown. I have to maintain a high level of sarcasm and humor in order to plow through. Plus, I feel like this is my Olympics. Training hard for years to not be with people and this is my time to shine. Also, with all the doom and gloom, I want to spread my delicate ray of sarcastic sunshine. It is my duty.

Here are some of my observations over the last few days. First, since the Catholics cancelled mass, in light of not gathering in large crowds, the idea that we are all going to “hell” for not attending church every Sunday is defunct. I, personally, didn’t buy into the propaganda, but I know those who did. I take God with me everywhere, so the lack of a building with a steeple isn’t really going to matter. Oh, and I haven’t been in a while anyway, so there’s that. Also, I didn’t give anything up for lent, but I have now, since you know, I am stuck in my house without being able to visit my favorite restaurants, continue my regular existence and well, basically gave up life as I know it. I would say that is a big sacrifice. Winning. Jesus loves me.

I have decided to learn something new during this time. My Basset has ridiculous nails that need to be trimmed regularly. Since I am not going to take her to the vet to have that done, I have ordered a grooming kit from Amazon that says “it makes trimming dog’s toenails effortless”. Those arrive tomorrow, so wish me luck. Maybe I will have a YouTube channel when I get proficient. You know, to help others master this technique. I want to give back during this difficult time.

Each day I find a gratitude. Like, no one is going to be randomly knocking on my door. Jehovah’s Witnesses are taking a much needed break and solicitation will halt. I can leave my front door open and not hide behind closed doors. It is freeing in so many ways. I don’t have to pretend I am not home.

Sure, this is weird and scary, but we will get through this together. It is all about how you react to a situation. Find the humor. Laughter and a sprinkle of sarcasm is the best medicine.