Square Peg ● Round Hole







At this point in the game, our physical features are starting to shed the illusion that we have presented to the world. There might be peeks of gray emerging from our hair. The nail color on our toes and fingers are starting to chip. Those of you who enjoy the benefits of Botox are now able to use your facial muscles. Well, you get the idea.

Last night, hope came to our door. The Governor of our great state of Kentucky, rolled out his plan to begin opening for business. It is a slow process. For example, my dog will be able to be groomed at our regular location starting the week of May 11th. Interesting that my pooch can get spa treatments before me, but whatever. I am NOT jealous of my canine child. Anyway, the week of May 25th, the salons can reopen. There was a collective singing of the “Hallelujah” chorus by the women of our amazing state. I see a small flicker of light at the end of the quarantine tunnel.

All of this is contingent on the lack of dumb asses. Those people who won’t follow the rules. It reminds me of being in grade school. There was always one person that ruined everything and the whole class suffered. My advice to those assholes who bitch about every contingency laid out is to chill out and go with the flow. THIS IS TEMPORARY. Well, it is temporary unless someone screws it all up and then you will just have a bunch of angry, ungroomed women who are much more dangerous than a virus.

Look, I am just pointing out the obvious. Women are in a much better place when we feel like we look good. Our attitudes are much more pleasant. We are more rational and agreeable. We smile more and our radiant nature is contagious. Don’t you want to experience that? Well, it’s simple. Wear a mask in public. Stop bitching about, well, everything. Just allow things to unfold organically and we will all survive this. What you resist will persist. Trust me, mama needs a pedicure and a haircut, so back off and do your civic duty by following the rules. This has been a public service announcement by a desperate woman who needs grooming.