Square Peg ● Round Hole

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While our vacation has been cancelled and venturing out to our favorite places has been nixed, I have found ways to add some bliss. Sometimes it entails being surprised at the boxes that are delivered to my door.

Yesterday, I knew that my countertop convection oven was being delivered, but my curiosity was heightened, as the UPS driver delivered not just one, but three packages. Cue me rubbing my hands together and doing an excited dance. “I wonder what else I ordered”, I whisper to myself. It takes me three trips to get the packages in since one is my new appliance. What do I open first? Well, before I could even take the action, FedEx pulls up with another delivery. Am I shopping in my sleep, again? I get the package in and decided I would open the last arrival first. My disappointment was palpable as I opened the box only to reveal my spouse’s new work shoes. Boring. I move on to the next package which happens to be my new maxi-dress. It is a colorful print with a halter-top cut. Have no idea why I ordered it, but it is adorable, it was on sale, and I suppose I can wear it around the house instead of yoga pants. The next item was a 3-piece metal hurricane set that I was planning to use as a centerpiece on our dining room table. I clap my hands with glee.

The last package was my shiny oven. It looks perfect on the counter and works like a dream. Even though, the other oven decided to operate perfectly yesterday as if it was telling me that I have been imagining the whole thing. Asshole. Probably jealous of its new counterpart.

Our recycling area is littered with boxes. It looks like a cardboard plant vomited everywhere. The day before I had my Home Chef dinners delivered along with my Jenni’s Splendid Ice Cream. I know I have a problem, but you know what, I don’t care. I am just going to put on my new dress while I eat my delicious ice cream. Take that quarantine 2020.