Square Peg ● Round Hole







While the whole world feels like one of those Tilt-A-Whirl rides and the rest of our lives is one big question mark, I am over here imagining decorating Bryce’s apartment. Let me start from the beginning. Bryce was fortunate enough to claim a one bedroom apartment for his junior year of college. Let me point out that apartment options when I was there looked like something out of a horror film. Oh, sure there were nicer ones available, but they weren’t very close to campus. Fortunately, I lived in the sorority house, so I didn’t have to experience those horrors. Enough about my woes, let’s chat about my youngest.

If you have been following my blog, you know that he has had his fill of horrible roommates. First, there was the pot smoking football player who enjoyed his joints in their bathroom and was, in my opinion, a big asshole. Second one was an improvement since he simply left his stuff in the room and was living with his girlfriend. Third roommate was more his speed since he too, was an student athletic trainer for the football team. Now, he is going to live alone in the luxury apartment that boast granite counters, stainless steel appliances including a dishwasher, along with a washer and dryer in the unit, and oh, it is furnished. WTAF? Seriously, this generation doesn’t know how to suffer the plight of dismal accommodations. His dorm for the last two years included a private bathroom. He didn’t have the experience of schlepping his crap back and forth to a public restroom. Whatever.

If COVID-19 calms down, he is possibly heading back to campus the first part of August. As we plan among all the unknowns, he gives me a glimmer of hope. There is a black, leather sofa in the living room that looks incredibly lonely. It needs some accent pillows and possibly a colorful throw. But, I have kept my suggestions to myself until the other day when the conversation steered toward what he may need in addition to what is provided. He definitely needs a desk and an entertainment console. As we discussed, I threw out the couch suggestion. He bit, friends! “Mom, you can pick out the pillows for the couch.” Bingo!! This is code for “Mom, I want you to decorate my apartment”. Cue the excited clap and some jumping up and down. Not a lot of jumping because gravity sucks and I am fifty-three. Together we have looked at some consoles and desk options. I have been looking at bar stools, pillows, and accent pieces. This is my jam!! I swear to God, COVID-19 needs to truck off (insert an F in place of the T for the emphasis I was going for). While I wait for that pesky little virus to take a hike, I will be perusing furniture websites and dreaming of how amazing his apartment is going to look. Of course, I will make it appear that it is all his idea, so it doesn’t look as if I am manipulating the situation. You see, I have many years of practice on Brian. The secret to interacting with the male species, is to condition them so your idea morphs into their idea. They get really excited and, boom, my idea wins. It’s psychological warfare and I love it! Besides, he will thank me later when his apartment doesn’t look like a frat house.