Square Peg ● Round Hole







I haven’t really been out and socializing on a grand scale since February, so heading out to a college football game is a big deal. Add a cute mask along with a non-weight bearing woman riding a scooter, and you have a recipe for humor.

I had gotten some information from the ticket office regarding special accommodations along with a parking pass from my sweet youngest. We were golden. Okay, my delusion settled down as I tried to navigate the uphill and downhill battle of the sidewalks and ramps. Fortunately, Brian and Bailey were my helpers. Making sure I didn’t maim anyone going downhill and actually pushing me uphill on the ramps from hell to get to the area where I would inquire about those special seats. The ticket office gave me wrong info and we were left to our own creativity. Our actual seats were down close to the field, so we selected seats that were at the top of the ramp. Brian thought if anyone tried to sit here, he would offer our original seats. Let me just say, the visitor’s side of this stadium is exactly the same as it was when I was here over 30 years ago. That is not a good thing, by the way.

Let me also point out that the restrooms were not handicap accessible. I had to park my scooter outside of the stall. Hopping in and touching every part of that disgusting square container to simply relieve my bladder. Afterwards, I did my best to wash off the germ residue then lathered myself in hand sanitizer. As prepared as I normally am, I forgot sunscreen, so Bailey and I got fried. Mother of the year, right here!

Mid-game, Brian informs me that there is an elevator. Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? My right leg might never be the same after all the work it had to do getting up those hilly ramps. So, after the game ended, we took our sunburned asses to the elevator where we got off at the bottom floor. As I rolled out, the event personal informed us that there was no ramp. Awesome. So, we waited for the elevator again, and the same girl insisted that there is a ramp, but ended up simply taking us to the second level, where I was guaranteed some downhill action.

By the time, we got to the car, I felt like I did when I used to do half-marathons. Okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but trust me, this girl has been out of society for a while, and being held hostage by a cast doesn’t warrant for the best introduction back into life.

Tomorrow morning, I will be making phone calls to various departments sharing my harrowing experience. While it was difficult, we did end up hanging out with friends, and unexpectedly spending time with my baby boy. There also was an incident with my scooter and my crazy friends, but that is a totally different blog. Let me just say, it was nice to have a day off from all the wacky shit going on in the world. I think it is something we all need to do to maintain some sort of peace within ourselves. Today, I am back to reality, and that involves dealing with my non-compliant mother. Wish me luck.