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Last day of the year. The year could literally be a cuss word. There are a lot of takeaways from 2020 , but mostly it is about the amount of relaxed yoga pants that I acquired. Also, my thinking that I could dress them up when socializing from less than six feet apart is deemed okay. I have gotten a tad lazy in the clothing department. My facial fashion is now adorned with trendy masks instead of makeup. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I even put that stuff on my face. And while others bitch about the mandatory mask wearing, I am over here talking to myself and nobody has a clue. It’s just my crazy eyes that are a possible giveaway.

In July, we lost our aging Basset and in November, we welcomed a young Lab-mix. She makes me grateful that I don’t have small children. She leaves her toys everywhere and while she is very smart, she hasn’t grasped the concept of putting them back. Her only flaw is that she has intense separation anxiety issues that require doggie Prozac and behavioral modifications. Who else needed to be medicated this year?

So, Allison, how are you celebrating this last day of the year?

You all are so kind to inquire. I am headed to my OB-GYN for my annual visit followed by a mammogram. Stop with your jealous thoughts. I simply know how to rock a good time. And while, I don’t normally stay up to welcome the new year, tonight I will be holding the door open to give 2020 a swift kick in the ass, giving it the finger, and making sure that it leaves.

Welcome 2021! We’ve been waiting for you. Not in a creepy way, but in a “it’s great to see you” way. Please be kind. We don’t want any trouble.

Happy New Year!