Square Peg ● Round Hole

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I was one of those woman who despised being pregnant. I did not glow. I did not radiate maternal vibes. No, I was the large cow who worshipped the porcelain gods for nine months while trying to combat the tiny little soccer player who enjoyed using my bladder as a ball. My ideal pregnancy would be a five minute limit. Grateful that I am not an elephant.

The joys of motherhood served me better once they were past the point where I needed to wipe their butts. I enjoy the people that they have become even when they aren’t enthralled with the barrels of wisdom that I have to share. Bailey is “dating” an ex-girlfriend of one his friends. I have tried to explain that there is a bro code and dating this friend’s ex-girlfriend goes against the code. Crickets. “You just want to ruin my life”. Yes, friends, my angelic son with Down syndrome thinks I spend my life thinking of ways to ruin his. Sure, it can be a perk, but not in this instance. Since we are in a pandemic, I am letting it slide for now. Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

About a month ago, Bryce told me that he appreciated my honestly and transparency with my parenting. Aww. Cue my hardened heart softening. To me, that is a huge parenting win. Let’s face it, this job isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s like trying to stand on a hammock without spilling your wine. It just made me think that enduring nine months of agony while they used my insides for their own personal jungle gym was worth it.

Before Bryce left to go back to school yesterday, he asked me if I would be willing to sign one of my books for him. Oh, my God! When your kid is not only proud of your accomplishment but wants to celebrate it, that is the icing on the cake. So, I wrote him a message that relayed how inspiring I think he is and what joy he has brought to my life. Then he left. A tiny tear trickled down my face. Not because he was going back to his life at school, but because he still owes me $9.99 for the book. It’s fine. I mean, he still owes me back rent for his time in the womb. I guess I will put it on his tab.