Differently

I can’t believe that we have been dealing with this pandemic for a year. It has been a challenging, yet an eye-opening universal pause. If I had known that the social norms of society were going to evaporate and that we would no longer be allowed to embrace or even gather in close quarters, would I have done anything differently? It’s kind of like how people talk about living each day as if it were your last. While there is still breath in me, I do feel like a part of my humanness died the day COVID-19 took us hostage.

Social interacting is awkward now. It resembles learning a foreign language and that my friends, falls in line with my ability to do math. It is not my gift. I have hugged people and then jumped back as if they were on fire immediately apologizing because it slipped my mind that we both might be carriers for a deadly disease. Sometimes I am a slow learner. Teaching a fifty-three-year-old woman new tricks at this stage can be daunting. I am positive there is a high turnover rate for my guardian angels.

After this year of interacting through zoom and keeping people six feet away from me, I have grown quite appreciative of the little things I took for granted. Simple acts of a hug or being able to sit closely with a friend as we talk. I will cherish them as the treasures they are instead of trinkets that I stuffed away in a dark drawer.

Life is forever changed. I am forever changed, but I will say that while this pause was inconvenient, challenging, and tedious, there have been pockets of blessings that I experienced. Would I have done anything differently, if I had known? Possibly, But, maybe the chance to do something differently now is more pertinent. Awkwardly long hugs are on the horizon. I just hope my friends are prepared.