Square Peg ● Round Hole

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Cleaning out my childhood home has been interesting. Items found have given me a whole new view of my parents. Yesterday, as my youngest perused through their vast album collection he came across one that was titled “For Lovers Only” which I could have gone my whole life never seeing. The cover displayed two martini glasses, two burning cigarettes in an ash tray, along with a purse and keys. Scandalous, indeed.

The other album was titled, “Background music – music blended to mix graciously with social gathering”. The back explained its purpose which was hilarious. Here is a tidbit……”This music is unique. It will never dominate but be pleasant and listenable. Early in the evening, when the hostess is struggling to the party off the ground, the music will fill those embarrassing lulls. In place of awkward silence, will be familiar and friendly music that encourages toe tapping and humming in harmony.” (Let’s just say, that if you have people gathering and their is a lull, you have the wrong people in your home.) Oh, wait, there’s more……”On the other hand, if the party should get festive, these recording take on added significance. for they serve for group “singing” (Not sure why they put singing in parentheses.), or dance music of a type to enable dowager and daughter to enjoy partners of assorted vintages (That sounds a bit sketchy, am I right?)

It actually had a suggestion at the end, that read more like a warning….”When you hear this music in a record store, don’t expect to be tingling trance by any musical pyrotechnics. (What?) These albums are designed for background,,,,like a dose of sherry, they will add flavor to any mixture. And if you are alone, some night with a good book, they’re mighty pleasant take straight.” Wow, just wow. Oh, and I had to explain what sherry was to Bryce.

These are all very interesting findings which brings amusement along with a sprinkle of disturbance. But, at least it provides a bit of humor to a tedious process. Thanks Mom and Dad for still keeping me on my toes and let’s hope I don’t find anything else that would make me want to bleach my eyes.