It is standard practice to ask people how they are as part of a social interaction. It’s fascinating to me how profound that question is when you are walking through grief. When each day presents a new wave of emotions, my answers vary, but I am transparent. I don’t fake it until I make it because that isn’t my truth. Instead, I have three answers depending on my current state. Some days, I will respond with “I’m doing okay” or it might be, “Today, I am good” or when my emotions are tangled and I can’t identify where I am residing, I respond, “I don’t know”.
Sometimes people ask and then backtrack while commenting that it was a stupid questions to ask, but I disagree. When someone is walking through grief, the last thing that should happen are people avoiding the question. Tip-toeing around the issue because they don’t want to upset me Maybe people are scared that I might lose my shit and start to cry. Maybe they are fearful of what my emotions will reveal for them. All I know is that question is a simple check-in and we all need that. It allows us to feel connected and valued.